you should visit me

Last weekend Annie visited me in Minneapolis for the first time. (Side note: It is really hard to convince people to visit you in Minneapolis. Everyone thinks it is always cold here, all the time. And I guess it doesn’t help that we’ve had the longest winter ever and when I look at my Instagram posts, all I see are pictures of snow. And some cats. And cats in snow. Apparently I’ve become the most boring person ever, which also doesn’t help when you’re trying to convince people to visit you.)

I asked Annie what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to see all of my favorite things. So I pointed toward the living room and said: “These are my cats.”

Just kidding. I swear, I didn't make Annie sit on the couch and inhale cat dander all weekend. I really do leave the house and do things besides shovel my driveway.

To prove it, here is a list of my Minneapolis favorites, the go-to spots I like to show out-of-town visitors. (Assuming anyone else ever visits. Seriously, please visit. I miss you.)

This is The Egg at Martina. It is unbelievable.

Eat

• Martina: They serve a chai-flavored cocktail in an egg-shaped vessel made of ice. Ice! It is amazing. And so is the rest of the menu.
• Revival: Because gluten-free fried chicken that tastes like real fried chicken. And if you don't like chicken, the burger is also incredible.
• Kyatchi: My favorite sushi spot. And they have wacky hot dogs. And awesome sake flights. And a black sesame panna cotta that I want to drown myself in. 
• Victor’s 1959 Café: Cuban brunch!
• Midtown Global Market: Korean fusion, camel burgers, pho, tacos, and a brewery all under one roof.
• Corner Table: $45 for a blow-your-mind, super-fancy three-course meal. And these folks also know their wines -- the list is impressive (and makes me miss my previous life in the wine world). 
• Gyst: A fermentation bar! And so much focus on the story behind what you're eating and drinking.
• Izzy’s Ice Cream: All of the ice cream. God, I love ice cream.

I could eat this fried chicken every day.

Drink

• Tattersall Distilling: Craft cocktails for like $8. A cool industrial space. Good people-watching.
• Constantine: More craft cocktails. Plus a $6 cheeseburger wrapped in paper -- sort of like fast-food heaven, but with a glass of fancy whiskey.
• Marvel Bar: Even more craft cocktails! But in a speakeasy setting. (Also, I'm realizing that I really don't go out for drinks very much anymore. I don't have a go-to neighborhood bar.)
• Surly: This place is cool if you can drink beer. I can't drink beer because it makes me crap my pants. But I'll be your DD and eat the meat board while you drink. 

Outdoor sightseeing

• Chain of Lakes: Best place for running, walking, paddle-boarding, people-watching, you name it. Love the lake lifestyle here.
• Minnehaha Falls: Because it's awesome to have a legit waterfall within city limits.
• Stone Arch Bridge: Iconic Minneapolis.
• Minneapolis Sculpture Garden: One of the first places Big Ginger took me when I visited him. It's been recently renovated and is gorgeous. And there's mini golf in the summer!

Current exhibition at my work.

Indoor sightseeing

• My place of employment: Admission is free, and there's something for everyone. And I'm so proud to work there!
• Guthrie Theater: See a show, or just walk to the balcony area and check out the amazing view of the Mississippi River.
• Wild Rumpus: A kids' bookstore with live animals! There is a cat, chicken, tarantula, ferret, chinchilla and more. I hate my parents for not bringing me here when I was a child. I don't care that they raised me in Southern California and we knew no one who lived in Minneapolis. That is beside the point.
• Open Book: Home to the Minnesota Center for Book Arts. I love the coffee shop (the chai is the best I've had in the city) and browsing titles at Milkweed Editions.

public service announcement

Don’t eat this before running.

I am a bad person

So I am in D.C. for work (which is so weird since my hotel is near Capitol Hill and last night was the night of the skinny repeal and I think if I see John McCain, I'd like to fist-bump him, which is something I never thought I'd want in my whole life), and I did a terrible thing this evening and forgot a paper bag of leftovers on the Metro.

And my heart broke when I realized it because the food was from my very favorite restaurant in the history of ever.

But perhaps more importantly in this day and age: God, I hope no one thinks it's a suspicious package and reports it and then the whole train system gets shut down and it will all be my fault because I dashed out the door and abandoned a carton of rice and stir-fried yellow beans.

Seriously, this dish is amazing, and I can't find it anywhere else.

F.

whole 30 update

So technically, if you are really into the Whole 30 "tough love" philosophy, I failed.

Because on Day 8, my boss took our team out for Greek food, and my dressing-free grilled chicken salad came with a cup of avgolemeno soup, which had rice in it, and I couldn't resist and ate the rice.

And then on Day 17, I had two friends over for brunch, and even though everything I made was completely Whole 30 compliant (I have come to loathe the word "compliant"), the girls brought over mimosas to toast the fact that I may or may not be getting married soon and it would've been rude to refuse, so I had a very small mimosa.

And then last night, Day 23, a bunch of us took the mister out for a belated birthday celebration, and I had wine and a pupusa (which is made with corn).

So if I were being really, really strict with the Whole 30 rules, I would have had to start over from Day 1 after every single one of these "slips."

Which doesn't seem right to me. Because besides these three instances, I've been spending all of my free time cooking, meal-planning, packing my lunches, trying new recipes and changing what I reach for when I'm hungry. I've broken my chip addiction. Instead, I eat apples, carrots and other whole foods as my snacks. I made plantains for the first time (amazing), learned how to cook with coconut milk and came up with a really awesome way to make killer roasted potatoes. And I've stayed away from gluten, soy and dairy, which are the three things I really wanted to avoid through this diet.

I don't feel like a failure, no matter what the Whole 30 rules say. And I actually really enjoy being in the kitchen.

So I'm going to keep going and not worry about starting over. And I hope the habits I've learned will continue even after I reach Day 30.

(Speaking of recipes and cooking and trying new things, I made deconstructed samosas today. Yum.)

whole 30

So here it is, Day 1 of the Whole 30 program. I ate a slice of frittata for breakfast, a baked potato topped with ground turkey for lunch, some celery and sunflower butter as a snack, and a stuffed pepper and roasted potatoes for dinner.

I'm not craving sugar or even any rice (yet), but I really want chips. Specifically, an enormous bag of Fritos. All I want is Fritos. And this is likely because I've had Fritos as my mid-afternoon snack almost every day this week. I even miss the way they smell -- sort of oily and semi-nutty. And they're just so salty.

And there are 29 more days of this.

hello, new year

Wait, what just happened? 

Mouse's thoughts exactly.

Oh right. It's 2017.

And since I am completely incapable of doing anything in moderation, I'm jumping in full force. I have a new coach -- fellow Coeur teammate and all-around inspiration Liz Waterstraat (read this immediately because it summarizes all the feelings) -- and did my first bike-run of the year today. (IM Wisconsin, I'm coming for you!) I'm also obsessed with the insanity that is the Coeur century swim challenge (100 x 100), and even though I'm in no shape to swim that far all at once, I'm breaking it into pieces and did 3,000 yards Thursday and another 4,000 yards yesterday (thank you, pull buoy and fins).

And I'm cleaning up my nutrition, too. I spent Christmas in Wisconsin with the mister's family, and every day involved Wisconsin-style Old Fashioneds (brandy or whiskey, sweet or sour, garnished with asparagus spears or mushrooms, for real), a shit-ton of cheese and the world's most amazing egg bake -- hash browns, cream of mushroom soup, ground meat, all topped with another shit-ton of cheese.

See? Mushrooms.

So I'll be attempting the Whole 30 program -- no dairy, no grains, no soy, no gluten, no sugar, no legumes, no alcohol. I'm gluten-intolerant, so that piece is nothing new for me, but no grains at all means no rice. Um, hello? I'm Asian. There's a strong possibility I might shrivel up and die. (Note to self: Teach the cats how to dial "911" in case of a rice emergency.)

Whole 30 egg bake: Awesome, but no shit-ton of cheese.

I've started incorporating some Whole 30 recipes into my meal planning the past few days. (I even made my own mayonnaise because apparently store-bought mayo has sugar in it.) I'll dive in completely this Friday because Thursday is -- wait for it -- my going-away happy hour to celebrate the last day at my current job! That's right: I've got a new adventure lined up. (But more on that later. Because I know you love suspense. And waiting three months for my next blog post, in which I will totally forget what I previously told you I'd write about so then you will actually never know anything about my new job. See? I'm self-aware and know my flaws.)

This year is going to be big, folks. Assuming I don't go into rice withdrawal and jump out the window, of course.

the off season is a vortex

In case you're wondering, yes, the bathroom sink is still broken.

Meanwhile, I went to Mexico for my friend Jessica's wedding and there were so many cats and a burrito wrapped in fried cheese instead of a tortilla and I got to sniff a donkey's ear.

And then we went to L.A. for Thanksgiving and there was food and hiking and more food and I started to suspect my parents were trying to turn me into some kind of human foie gras by constantly feeding me.

Basically a slab of pork belly.

And after that we turned around and drove to Wisconsin for even more family time and I went to a cheese factory and bought a bunch of cheese curds but I didn't learn how to play Sheephead or Smear because I wasn't in the mood for strategy.

Also, deer season.

Let's just say I've been making workouts a priority this week.

soaking up summer

Everyone is freaking out because Labor Day came and went and summer is supposedly now over and it's just a matter of time before we're all wearing wool sweaters and buried under a layer of ice.

So I'm making the most of these final pre-snowpocalypse days. I've been riding outside as much as possible, whether that means on one of my bikes ...

Made it to the Cathedral of St. Paul!

Or on a bikeshare.

This weekend I cut my run short because I found a Gnarly Ride and absolutely had to grab it. And just where did I take it?

Chocolate almond with an Izzy scoop of raspberry sorbet. Oh yeah!

Ice cream. Duh.

Speaking of adventures in dairy, I went to my very first Minnesota State Fair, where being a princess means you get your face sculpted out of butter.

I told the mister we should have a kid just so she can become a princess and be immortalized in butter and it is our duty as parents to do everything we can to ensure her success. His response: "Have you heard the term 'butter face'?"

OK, mister. You win. This time. (Also, maybe the State Fair people should look at UrbanDictionary.com because I'm pretty sure these nice teenage girls don't want to be called butter faces.)

Here's to the final few weeks of not having to wear down-filled coats.

never say never

Things I never thought I'd say in my life but have confidently announced since moving here:

"Sure, I'd love to go to prenatal yoga!" (Let me remind you that I am not pregnant. Also, I really need to tell you the rest of this story. Because it's ridiculous and so good.)

"I actually really like working on crisis communications!" (This story is not as interesting.)

"All day I've been looking forward to swimming in open water!" (I know, right? Who am I?)

But can you really blame me for watching the clock so I could get to this ASAP?

This is kind of a stupid photo, but it's all I have, so you're welcome

Yes, those are buoys. And there were also lifeguards in kayaks. That's right: An organized, well-supported open water swim in a cool lake on a sunny day. And this happens Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays at Lake Nokomis and Mondays at Cedar Lake throughout the summer for a mere $35 one-time swim club membership fee.

Minneapolis is bomb. And man, it felt incredible to get in that water and try to swim in a straight line.

But wait: It gets better.

 

A solid swim effort should never go unrewarded. Afterward, I treated myself to Thai tea ice cream from Milkjam Creamery, which is pretty much where I'd like to retire and spend the rest of my years.

praise cheeses!

You know how people go on vacation and get all wild and crazy and then come back pregnant? That's pretty much what happened to me, except my baby is made entirely of cheese. Swiss cheese. Gruyère. Appenzeller. Emmentaler.

Mmmm.

I was in Switzerland recently with the mister and his family for about a week, and then we did a two-day layover in Iceland on the way back. When I wasn't marveling at the mountains, I was stuffing my face with cheese. Fondue is one thing, but dear god, have you ever heard of rösti?

It's a freaking hash brown smothered in cheese and topped with a fried egg. In other words: Pure genius on a plate.

So now I have a giant belly full of cheese, and my swim tonight was slow-going, and I'm a little bit worried that I've totally undone the teeny-tiny shred of fitness I've been trying to build over the past two months. But whatever. It was worth it. Because this:

tapering

I love taper. I know some people hate it and feel restless, but I welcome the extra time and use it to get a lot of important life stuff done. Like napping. And baking a quiche.

And teaching the kitten how to walk on a leash.

The best part was when my neighbor came home and found me outside with the cat. My response: "Hi. This is totally normal."

*

Yesterday I had my last brick workout -- two hours on the bike, followed by an hour run. And even though the weather was gorgeous, Coach Mark put me on the trainer. Smart move, considering my recent history of slipping on railroad tracks and riding into walls. Best not to crash one week before race day.

Unfortunately, I made the poor choice of watching "Spring Breakers" during my workout. Pro tip: Do not ever, ever subject yourself to this. Life is better without the horror of James Franco with dreads and a grill leading a trio of bikini-clad, gun-wielding college girls. 

*

So my toxic Ohio River stress dream may actually become reality. Surprisingly, I'm not that worried about it. I'll roll with whatever they decide. Mostly, I just don't want to get sick and end up with explosive diarrhea and projectile vomit on the bike. Or the run. Or pretty much any time ever. (Side note: A good ice-breaker is to ask total strangers: "Would you rather have explosive diarrhea or projectile vomit?" Never fails to result in a passionate reaction. Try it as an interview question some time.)

Ironman Louisville: One week.

the weirder, the better

It's no secret that when encountering bizarrely-flavored food products, I'm like a moth to a lightbulb. Or a bee to a lavender field. Or a stoner to Taco Bell.

Which means I am absolutely thrilled about this:

Savory squeezable pizza to break up the saccharin monotony of gels and chews and bars! And the squeezable pizza actually does kind of taste like pizza -- if you imagine yourself pulling the cheese off a slice and using it to mop up the sauce and then eating only that part and throwing everything else away. Or if you imagine a tube of tomato paste, but with cheese. Mmmm. Cheese.

So just think how excited I was when I went to the grocery store yesterday and saw this:

Don't worry; not for the bike.

Pretty sure I shouted "Holy shit!" (Apologies if your kid heard me and then went home and started calling everything shit.)

I'm a truffle fanatic; I bought a bag. And I bought this flavor too:

I guess Lay's is doing a flavor competition right now. There was also this:

And this:

I'll have to go back for those next time.

So far, the truffle chips are horribly disappointing. Zero truffle flavor. They taste like parsley with cheese powder. I can't tell you how sad I am.

The biscuits and gravy chips, however, are so weird and fake that they're really good. I'm kind of tempted to head to the kitchen and eat more of them right now.

sheesh

My parents used to tell me not to make nasty faces at things because a "bad wind" might blow and then my face will get stuck forever.

Living dangerously right now.

Apparently, I should've listened to their advice. Remember how I said these things about Minneapolis? Well that wind must be howling something fierce because I keep finding myself in Viking Land. I was there last week for the second time this year.

Confession: It's not that bad. In fact, it's kind of growing on me.

Yes, it was humid. And yes, I did often hear the comment "You're lucky you're here now because in a week or so we'll have mosquitos." And yes, in the middle of our alfresco dinner Friday night, the sky broke open and seasoned our bowl of lobster guac with a downpour.

But lobster guac can be salvaged. And there were seats indoors. And I would gladly brave mosquitos for a bite of this:

Asparagus and burrata from Corner Table.

(Just looking at that photo makes me salivate.) The manager also brought us a taste of this Oregon Pinot ...

I know. I'm giggling too.

... and then we geeked out on wine styles and what to make of wines that have clearly been created as a big "FU" to wine critics and others who expect wine to taste a certain way. (The debate: Is doing this art? Can you actually make a living with these wines? Is it smart to alienate a large portion of your audience? Do you have to like a wine because it is seen as cerebral and challenging? Man, it was a good discussion. Dear rest of the country: More of this kind of conversation, please.)

I also ran along the Mississippi River ...

... went for a swim in Lake Calhoun (which was actually so warm I could've gone without a wetsuit) and spent an evening tooling around town on a rideshare bike -- an adventure that involved finding a restaurant with a wine list that is entirely at cost ...

This was only $18. I know, right?

... reading poetry on bridges ...

... and taking in the view. 

Other random sources of delight: This Salvation Army that has a basement full of Target samples at ridiculously good prices. (I bought two dresses, a pair of shorts, a denim jacket and a crocheted top for $59!)  This gym and its immaculate five-lane pool that barely anyone swims in. This coffee house, which is also a bike shop and has walls covered in taxidermy and old bike frames. And of course, the rooftop deck and '90s hip hop and sipping wine by the fire pit while fireworks go off after the Twins game.

happy easter indeed

Best Easter ever. I woke up and there was no cat puke next to the bed. And then I took Muppet for a ride outdoors in the sun. And then I met Annie for brunch and ate spicy pork sausage congee.

I may or may not have still been wearing padded shorts during this.

And then I spent time with my boss's family.

Don't worry. My boss's family consists of human beings. His mom just happens to have the most epic collection of creepy dolls I have ever seen in my entire life. In other words, she is my hero.

Also, I colored a cow.

And ate a ton of post-Easter dinner truffle fries because it makes complete sense to polish off a giant holiday meal and then immediately go out and eat more food.

Epitome of maturity.

I just hope my boss still lets me hang out with his family even after I told his 8-year-old son about how people sometimes have a growth on their arm and when they go to the doctor to get it removed, they find hair and teeth inside because -- dun dun dun ! -- it was their secret twin.