dear santa

When someone asks me what I want for Christmas, I usually say something lame and super practical, like a gift card for groceries or "something for the house." For whatever reason (be it Catholic guilt, the desire to be seen as a financially independent adult human, or an innately stubborn nature due to my astrological sign), I find it mind-bogglingly difficult to come up with anything creative, especially when I'm put on the spot.

Magnus does not shop for presents; he considers his very existence to be the ultimate gift to humanity.

Since there are still a few days left before Christmas (and the internet and Amazon Prime exist to help those who may have procrastinated), here are some triathlon-related gift ideas. These are things I'd love to give or receive. And they're organized by zones because, duh, triathlon.

Z1 – $25 or less

• Stance socks: I got a pair of the tab socks in my Wilder swag bag and am now a convert. Also, there is a holiday cat design that is freaking awesome. 
• Books: Some of my fave tri-related titles include Chrissie Wellington's autobiography, ROAR for all of your women-specific nutrition questions, The Brave Athlete for those times when you're stuck in your head, and Shalane Flanagan's cookbooks.
• Foot Rubz ball: I swear by this thing. Buy several. Keep one in your purse at all times. You'll thank me.
• Coeur Sports swim cap: I have a bazillion free swim caps from races, but I so much prefer these nice, thicker silicone ones -- they cause less hair breakage. Plus the designs are cute.
• A fun water bottle: Two favorites -- this one from Whisky Parts Co. (for obvious reasons) and this one from Portland Design Works (equally obvious).

Z2 – $75 or less

• Jolyn swimsuit: All my "real swimmer" friends love these ridiculously adorable (and kinda sexy) suits. I have one of their bikinis in this cat print (I know you are so surprised), but I'd also love to get a fixed-back onesie for workouts.
• After-swim toiletry set: Chlorine kills my hair and dries out my skin, so I always keep shower stuff made especially for swimmers in my gym bag. This shampoo, conditioner, and body wash gift set from Zealios is on sale.
• Gift certificate for a massage: This is always, always a much-welcomed gift. If you live in the Twin Cities area and want a good sports massage therapist, I highly recommend this gal. 

Z3 – $150 or less

• Cozy Bird Yeti from Oiselle: This onesie sums up exactly how I want to spend every weekend all winter. I want to shovel the driveway in it and take Mouse for walks in it and go to the library in it and cry over the Vikings not making the playoffs in it (perhaps my fears are premature, but what can I say -- this is how life is with this team) and basically just wear it in public constantly until Big Ginger threatens to divorce me.
• Brooks Levitate 2 Limited Edition shoes: I cannot resist anything rose gold, and this shoe is just gorgeous. (Also cool in a totally different way: These ugly sweater sneaks, which I would wear year-round because I am that person.) 
• R8 deep tissue massage roller: It looks like a torture device. It's probably really good for me.

Z4 – $300 or less

• Swim Smooth workshop: There's a one-day stroke correction clinic coming to the Twin Cities area in January. I treated myself to it, and you should do it too.

All out

• NormaTec boots: Every time I see these at a race expo, I have to stop and spend a few minutes in them. They are amazing. I would love to fall asleep in them while Ryan Gosling reads me poetry. 
• Registration for Coeur Sports training camp: Get your season started on a good note! The best part: There are multiple pricing options, so you don't have to break the bank.
• Wahoo Kickr: Big Ginger just got one, and he loves it because it keeps his workouts honest -- you can't cheat watts on a smart trainer. (Although I kind of feel like the term "smart trainer" implies that my current trainer is a "dumb trainer," and I think that's sort of mean.)

I do box jumps now

They're little ones, but I do them.

To mix things up over the off-season, learn how to lift and try something new, I started going to Alchemy, a studio with classes that are sort of a hybrid of yoga, strength and high-intensity intervals. It took me awhile to get used to the class format. (Also, I feel like everyone in these classes is young and ridiculously good-looking, and I'm like the old lady who shows up covered in cat hair and asks too many questions about form and modifications.) The yoga is definitely not traditional, and I occasionally feel like a bumbling fool when it comes to working with weights, especially heavy ones. ("You want me to do what with what?") And let's not even talk about pull-ups and how I can't reach the bar without using a box to get myself up there.

But whatever. The workouts are fun and challenging, and everyone has to start somewhere. And I can definitely feel myself getting stronger -- especially when I'm swimming.

winter is here

We had our first real storm about two weeks ago. True, it wasn’t technically the first snow of the season (that happened in October, before Halloween), but it was the first snow that stuck.

Mouse is like, "WTF?"

And basically the ground has been covered in snow ever since.

Lake Harriet, frozen over.

I have mixed feelings. Snow is beautiful. I love the way it transforms the landscape. I love playing in it. I even love running in it.

Pro tip: I use trail shoes when it's snowy.

But I vehemently hate the ice that accompanies it -- the nasty stuff that forms when people don't clear their sidewalks and driveways, and then the snow melts a little during the day but then freezes again at night, resulting in a giant, slippery patch that will put you in concussion protocol.

And since I can never do anything in moderation, I am now obsessed with battling the evil that is head-cracking ice. I'm pretty much like Jon Snow. Except instead of the Wall, I'm in a quaint Minneapolis neighborhood. And instead of black furs and leather, I'm wearing a down coat over my bathrobe and pajamas. And instead of a fierce direwolf, I've got three orange cats who are really good at resting bitch face.

If these three don't melt the ice, I don't know what will.

the off season is a vortex

In case you're wondering, yes, the bathroom sink is still broken.

Meanwhile, I went to Mexico for my friend Jessica's wedding and there were so many cats and a burrito wrapped in fried cheese instead of a tortilla and I got to sniff a donkey's ear.

And then we went to L.A. for Thanksgiving and there was food and hiking and more food and I started to suspect my parents were trying to turn me into some kind of human foie gras by constantly feeding me.

Basically a slab of pork belly.

And after that we turned around and drove to Wisconsin for even more family time and I went to a cheese factory and bought a bunch of cheese curds but I didn't learn how to play Sheephead or Smear because I wasn't in the mood for strategy.

Also, deer season.

Let's just say I've been making workouts a priority this week.

return to my roots

Before I was mediocre at triathlon, I was mediocre at ballet.

And I loved it. I loved the discipline, the technique, the pianist playing in the corner, the French words, the counting to eight and then counting to eight again and again. And even though I knew I'd never have the right feet and I'd started too late to ever be on pointe, I still spent most of my free time every summer in ballet class.

And now, 18 years later, I've finally gone back. I took a beginning ballet class tonight at the Minnesota Dance Theatre & School.

It felt good to put these shoes on again. (I can't believe I actually still have them.) And the pianist played the "Star Wars" theme when we did grand battement at the barre. 

And look at how beautiful this studio is: 

I didn't care that I have pretty much zero flexibility now and that my saute is like maybe a centimeter off the ground (the teacher actually yelled "Jump higher!" at me) and that fondue really just makes me think of cheese. It simply felt wonderful to be there again.