how to do it wrong

Monday, August 24, 2015

Fly to the Midwest for "vacation." Drink wine and Japanese whisky to celebrate finally being reunited with one of your favorite people in the whole entire world. Stuff your face with sushi in the shape of a dragon.


When you are so full you can barely function, waddle back to the apartment, where you will then decide there is no better time than now to adjust the road bike you rented. Allow your favorite person to then convince you it is a good idea to test the bike fit by attempting to ride down the hallway of his apartment.

Immediately crash into the wall on your left, bounce off of it, smash your face against the wall on the right and then end up in a heap on the floor, still clipped in to your pedals. Laugh hysterically while your favorite person tries to drag you back into his apartment before the neighbors come out and ask you why the hell you are riding bikes in the hallway in the first place.

Spend the rest of the evening trying to casually ice your face and appear totally nonchalant about your human pinball impression. Fail completely.

But still somehow manage to get up the next day for a five-hour ride.


Complete the ride, despite the fact that your right shifter is now crooked and your face is so sore it hurts to smile. Pray that your favorite person's family doesn't notice the bruise that is slowly but surely forming on your cheek.

(That may or may not be a Timberwolves shirt.)


Watch helplessly as the bruise gets progressively greener every day.

Return to Seattle. End up on the train back from the airport next to a strange man who is wearing nothing but a bedsheet. When he smiles at you, think: "Wow, Mr. Bedsheet is really nice and maybe isn't all that big of a weirdo!"

And then realize you have a bruise on your face, so Mr. Bedsheet may look sane in comparison.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So a friend shared this blog with me, as we are doing IM Lou as well and your most recent post was very motivational. I just wanted to comment on this post to let you know, those shifters are actually just attached to the handlebars by a metal ring and are designed to be slid around. You can literally just pull your shifter back into place with brute force. Like, grab it from the hood on the side nearest the frame, and just yank, and you can put it right back where it belongs :)

Michaela said...

Bahahahahaha! I tried doing that, but my complete lack of upper body strength was pretty apparent. The boy fixed it. Which is good since we can all blame him for the incident in the first place. ;)

 
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