Monday, August 03, 2015

maiden voyage, at last

Let's talk about this:

So I spent my entire tax refund on this bike, which I put a deposit on and ordered in April. But then I didn't actually pick up the bike from the store until June because I needed to save up for the remaining cost. And then I didn't actually ride the bike outside until yesterday because I needed to pay for a bike fit and then buy a new hydration setup (because this bike has an internal bladder system, and I'm not sure I like it), which cost, oh, $250.

Recent conversation at the triathlon store:

Me: I'm about to drop hundreds of dollars on something that holds water bottles.

Triathlon store guy: Well, it's better than a coke habit.

Touché, triathlon store guy, touché.

Anyway, so Money Pit Minivan and I finally went on our first date yesterday. I took the above photo before I attempted to climb aboard. And yes, it was a climb. Because the rear hydration setup and my stubby little legs means I am pretty much doing Utthita Hasta Padangustasana (I only wrote that because I'm a jerk and I want to laugh as you to try to pronounce it -- really, it's just a fancy yoga term for holding your leg up like you're about to pee on a tree) to get on the bike.

And I immediately discovered the bento box totally doesn't work unless I want my gels practically in my crotch. So after getting rid of the bento box and stuffing the gels in my jersey pockets, Minivan and I were on our way.


  • Minivan is a fast bitch. Really, ridiculously fast. And a smoother ride than Muppet. (Although that could also be because Muppet is in need of some maintenance right now. Which -- surprise, surprise -- I am still trying to save up for.)
  • Minivan is also much more sensitive -- I could feel the crosswinds. 
  • I need to get used to shifting gears in aero. However, I really like how much easier it is to tell what gear you're in because of where the shifter is pointing.
  • I need to get used to being in aero, period. The position feels much more aggressive on Minivan than it does on Muppet. My neck and shoulders got really sore. (Maybe the fit needs a little tweaking?)
  • I'm not sold on the rear hydration setup. I randomly lost a bottle riding around Lake Sammamish -- and it wasn't even the bottle I had been drinking out of.
  • People stare at me on this bike. I don't know if it's because I look like an idiot or a badass. Sometimes I think there's a very fine line between the two. 

We did 74 miles yesterday. Kind of long for a first date, but I was never really one for moderation.

Thursday, July 30, 2015


According to the local TV station, in 121 years of record-keeping, Seattle has never had 10 days of 90-degree or above temperatures in one year.

Until today.

And guess who was dumb enough to run in it?

Afterward, all I could do was lie on the floor.

Because a long run (1:50 to be exact) in 90-degree heat was truly horrible. After the first 40 minutes, I had to go back to my house for an emergency bathroom stop. Then the remaining 1:10 included stomach cramps and overheating.

Dear Seattle: I prefer the grey and the rain, please.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

the weirder, the better

It's no secret that when encountering bizarrely-flavored food products, I'm like a moth to a lightbulb. Or a bee to a lavender field. Or a stoner to Taco Bell.

Which means I am absolutely thrilled about this:

Savory squeezable pizza to break up the saccharin monotony of gels and chews and bars! And the squeezable pizza actually does kind of taste like pizza -- if you imagine yourself pulling the cheese off a slice and using it to mop up the sauce and then eating only that part and throwing everything else away. Or if you imagine a tube of tomato paste, but with cheese. Mmmm. Cheese.

So just think how excited I was when I went to the grocery store yesterday and saw this:

Don't worry; not for the bike.

Pretty sure I shouted "Holy shit!" (Apologies if your kid heard me and then went home and started calling everything shit.)

I'm a truffle fanatic; I bought a bag. And I bought this flavor too:

I guess Lay's is doing a flavor competition right now. There was also this:

And this:

I'll have to go back for those next time.

So far, the truffle chips are horribly disappointing. Zero truffle flavor. They taste like parsley with cheese powder. I can't tell you how sad I am.

The biscuits and gravy chips, however, are so weird and fake that they're really good. I'm kind of tempted to head to the kitchen and eat more of them right now.