for I have sinned

Monday, April 01, 2013

I view my Monday morning green smoothies the way Catholics view confession: If I drink one of these, all the sins of the past weekend will be absolved. Half a cup of almond milk, an apple, whatever random greens are in the refrigerator, a teaspoon of spirulina, two ice cubes, three Hail Marys and boom -- gone are the extra calories from yesterday's basket of fish and chips!

(Clearly my nutritional insights are also very much like religion in that they are based entirely on hard scientific facts.)

(Yes, folks, I'll see you in hell.)

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