free meal?

We were at the très French Hyde Street Bistro on Saturday to celebrate Brian's 21st birthday. (Imagine that -- finally legal! At last!)

There were five of us, and I was the only woman. And as is common practice, after we were seated, the server gave me my menu first. But when I looked at it, I discovered it was very different from the menus everyone else at the table was holding.

It didn't have any prices.

Filet mignon -- free! Sea scallops -- free! Rabbit pâté -- free! It was like a shopping spree of French cuisine.

Meanwhile, my male companions -- including the birthday boy -- had double-digit numbers after all of their menu items.

This has never happened to me before. I've been to restaurants where the server will leave the bill next to where the man is sitting (this is something that has always bothered me), or even worse, after running my credit card for a meal I paid for, the server will give the book to the man to sign. But never has a restaurant assumed from the very beginning of the meal that I was not going to pay for anything. I mean, Hyde Street Bistro was basically telling me payment is not an option.

Imagine if this had been a first date instead of Brian's 21st birthday (way to go, Brian -- woo!). Talk about awkward. What if the guy was poor and I unknowingly ordered the most expensive entree? Or what if I didn't like the guy? Would my menu sans prices automatically mean the guy would expect me to put out?

Or what if I were a lesbian? Then what? Would my date and I both get menus with prices because people would just assume we were friends and nothing more, thereby failing to recognize our relationship as legitimate? Or would they try to figure out which of us was the "manlier" one and make that person pay, thereby playing on stereotype?

All in all, having two different menus is just unfair and makes way too many assumptions. The only way I can see this working is if the restaurant contacts you ahead of time and asks if the meal is a special occasion. Because if there was anyone who wasn't supposed to pay on Saturday night (and actually did end up paying, even though I protested) at our meal, it should've been Birthday Boy Brian. Because 21 is a big deal!