thoughts before a triathlon

1. Why did I choose the hotel that also happens to be the venue for a prom?

2. Why is my room right next to the ballroom where the prom is being held?

3. Why aren't limos cool anymore? What's the deal with the "party bus"?

4. Why don't these boys cut their hair?

5. Why hasn't anyone told him that hat is super douchey?

6. Why hasn't anyone told her this isn't dress rehearsal for "Phantom of the Opera"?

7. Screw it -- I'm just going to steal more dessert from their dessert bar.