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I'm old and my body hates me

A few weeks ago, I turned 40 30 for the tenth time.

Confession: This is not my party.

And my body has pretty much been breaking ever since. I rolled my left ankle (which technically happened before my birthday, but my body doesn’t care about those details and all it knows is F this tri season) and wasn’t able to run for awhile.

And just when I thought I was starting to get better (even finishing third in my AG at Cinco Du Mayo – who cares if there were only like seven people in the field and they only gave hardware to the first- and second-place finishers so I didn't even get to stand on an actual podium), my calf and the rest of my leg got screwed up somehow and now I have shin splints that are so painful my coach thinks maybe I could have a stress reaction or fracture.

Icing my calf and eating this entire pizza all by myself.

 And then yesterday I opened the front door onto my foot and tore my toenail. 

You're welcome.

Victoria 70.3 is less than two weeks away. I feel so craptacular and disheartened that I bought this:


I just really need something to laugh at. (Also, there's probably a totally inappropriate metaphor here.)

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