While you spent your Sunday watching football, eating nachos and drinking adult beverages with all of your best friends, I rode my bike and ran for almost eight hours. Eight hours.
Sometimes I think this whole Ironman thing is really dumb.
Other dumb things I think about while I'm swimming, biking and/or running for hours and hours and hours:
- At least when there is a Seahawks game, I have the entire trail to myself.
- The real swimmers definitely take me seriously because I'm wearing an awesome metallic tiger print bathing suit right now.
- Peanut butter Hammer Gel is the best flavor ever. I could eat a tub of this stuff.
- Hey, squirrel. I dare you to dart in front of my bike. Remember, I stuffed your cousin and put her on my bookshelf.
- This is lap 17. Lap 17. Don't forget. Lap 17. What do I want to eat after this? Why is that guy doing the butterfly? How do you learn to do the butterfly? Shit, what lap is this?
- Is it possible for your head to literally shrink or expand from ride to ride? Because my helmet never feels like it fits the same way it did last time I got on the bike.
- I hope I don't look like I'm in pain.
- Running in pouring rain is refreshing, swear to god. Now please don't let me get splashed by a bus.
- I don't know how people deal with significant others who are training for Ironman. Because if I were dating me, I'd call me a crazy bitch and file for divorce.
- Peanut butter Hammer gel again?! Why did I buy so much of it? Montana Huckleberry is so much better.
- It's amazing how you never truly forget all of the words to every song in "Beauty and the Beast."
- Why isn't my heartrate monitor reading my heartrate? Am I dead?!
- Are we there yet?
Highlights from this weekend's insanity:
|At Mile 14.5 of my long run, the heavens burst.|
|Fuel for the bike. (Dead serious.)|
|Ran to the paper crane statue at Peace Park.|
|Post-brick, wanting to eat the entire Greek Festival.|
I'm at the point where I'm really, really tired. And there are so many water bottles all over my apartment, which happens to smell like a combination of giant cat turd and huge pile of sweaty laundry. And I can't stop eating. And I practically faceplant at 8:30 every night. And I actually did the thing I swore I'd never do this weekend and wore leggings as pants because the thought of wearing real pants made my body hurt and I went out to lunch like that and I was late to lunch because I had to do bike stuff first so I had to apologize for both my tardiness and my lack of pants.