fatness

Monday, January 21, 2013

Confession: Whenever I start a training cycle, I feel like crap -- like I'm out of shape and doughy and basically just huge and slow and jiggly and waistless. And I look at old photos of myself ...


... and wonder what the hell happened and why I don't look like that anymore. And yes, I know the answer is obvious: That photo was taken last July, just days before Vineman, when I was at the peak of my fitness. And I can remind myself of that over and over again, but it still doesn't make me feel any better or less like a fat-ass. Getting back into training mode is always difficult.

The situation isn't helped by the fact that I seem to lack any sort of willpower. I was in Portland this weekend for a short vacation. I had big plans to work out while I was there. I brought two sets of running gear and some yoga clothes. I even talked about hiking.

But then this got in the way:


And this too:


Followed by some of this:


Yes, folks, that's an English muffin overflowing with a fried egg and Spam. Spam. Seriously, it was just plain slutty and spectacular. My lips were greasy for hours afterward.

And if that weren't sin enough, there was also my very first poutine experience ever:


This was pretty much an orgy of fries and gravy and cheese curds. And I was totally sober when I ate it, which probably makes me a really bad person.

And of course, I had to also try this:

 
And then when it came time to run, it was 20-something degrees out and all of the bridges were icy, which slowed my scared, accident-prone ass to a walk.


And I never looked up the yoga schedule. And the only hiking I did was from one bar to the next. 

Sigh. 

And I wonder why I'm a fat-ass.

11 comments:

naomi said...

You eat the best food ever.

Michaela said...

Or the worst. I just now tried to eat a healthy lunch of quinoa, kale and mushrooms. But then I found the Kewpie mayo in my pantry and pretty much doused my meal in fat-kid schmear. I'm hopeless.

Layla said...

"And the only hiking I did was from one bar to the next." Hahaha! We really must be in Portland at the same time one of these days soon.

Kristina said...

Too funny - I found your blog through another one.
December/January is the worst for me in terms of food and fitness (or best in terms of food, worst in terms of fitness?). Eventually, I'll get back into shape, but for now, I'm still in hunker-down mode (even in Southern CA, it's been chilly).

Michaela said...

Layla, yes! We really need to plan a trip! Although I can only imagine the trouble we'll get into ...

Kristina, thanks for stopping by! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's struggling with the winter months. It's so much easier to hibernate -- and drink a ridiculous amount of hot buttered rums -- when it's cold outside.

Dirtytsang said...

Ahh this is why I love you M! How'd you like the poutine?

Michaela said...

D - I almost didn't approve your comment because I thought you were some kind of pornographic spammer!! Hahahahahaha!

dirtytsang said...

bahahahaha!

Michaela said...

Oh, and yes, the poutine was really, really good. Why isn't this a regular thing in California? Why do we have to go to really cold places to get it?

Kimra said...

Fact: I have a pack of cheese curds in my fridge right now from when friends and I made poutine over New Year's. Also, there's a poutine MENU at Jasper's Corner Tap in SF. Just saying.

Michaela said...

I see an SF run in our future, followed by a poutine spree! YES! Vineman training will be extra-awesome this year!

 
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