double down

Today Ulysses, Nick and I went to KFC for lunch to try the Double Down, two pieces of fried chicken sandwiching bacon, cheese and special sauce.

Apparently, this thing has 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1380 mg of sodium. It's like an instant heart attack.

Still, we had to try it. There's been so much hoopla about this monstrosity, with everyone from the local paper to the New York Times harping on it. We had to find out for ourselves: Is the Double Down fatty goodness at its finest, or is it just well-publicized stunt food?

We ordered one Double Down and split it between the three of us. (We're hardcore, but not that hardcore -- none of us wanted to try to eat an entire Double Down by ourselves. No cardiac arrest in a fast food booth please!)

When the sandwich arrived, we just stared at it.

"Is that all?" Nick said.

"I thought it would be bigger," I said.

"Maybe if I hold it up," Nick said.

The thing looked nothing like the photo on the KFC website. It was flat, the cheese wasn't melted and you could barely see the bacon. And when Nick held it up, it resembled a limp sock puppet.

We proceeded to unwrap the sandwich and pass it around to take a bite. Nick went first. "It's really dry," he said (even though he had special sauce on his face).

I went next. "What is that cheese?" I said. "That's just nasty. That cheese can't be real. How is that actually cheese? And where is the bacon?"

Ulysses took the third and final bite. "I don't like the sauce," he said. "They should just use gravy. Like those sandwiches that you dip in aus jus, but gravy."

And then Nick proceeded to dissect it, which was really disgusting. He pulled out the most flaccid piece of bacon I have ever seen. And it was covered in white special sauce. Um, yeah.

Our verdict: The Double Down is all hype. I don't think I could eat this thing even if I were rip-roaring drunk. And that's saying a lot.