wine country casual

Sometimes I regret that I am not a mean person.

Because if I were, I would take pictures of the ridiculous outfits that people wear when they go wine-tasting or attend winery events.

I blame the term Wine Country Casual for these fashion offenses. Any time you are invited to a wine event and ask what the proper attire is, the response is always Wine Country Casual. It's printed on pretty much every invitation, and every winery employee has it permanently entered in his or her vocabulary. (Yes, I am guilty as well.)

But there is no actual concrete definition for Wine Country Casual.

So people end up just wearing whatever the hell they want.

Which is usually so incredibly bad.

Take today, for example. I spent most of the day working at a major wine event. Keep in mind that the temperature hit 100, and extraordinarily hot weather coupled with wine-tasting equals Wine Country Casual that is even worse than usual.

I saw a man walking around with his shirt completely unbuttoned -- chest hair, stomach, very orange skin on display. (People, you are at a winery! This is not the beach!) And this man wasn't the only guilty party. There were a number of see-through white tops (no need for water in this T-shirt contest!) and too-short dresses.

My favorite was probably the woman in a fake Missoni bubble dress that barely covered her ass. And she had turquoise platform mules on to match the turquoise in her dress. And she was, oh, about 60 years old. (Just because the store is called Forever 21, it doesn't mean you'll be forever 21 if you shop there. I'm just saying.)

Then there was the couple who matched perfectly. True, there is always at least one of these at every wine event. But this couple was extra-exceptional because they were dressed in head-to-toe green. I am not even kidding you. I actually did a double-take when they walked up to the registration tent. If they had been taller, I would've thought the Jolly Green Giant was out on a date.