gigantic cat

Sunday, March 18, 2007

From Vegas to Virginia ...

Today Carisa and I were in Occoquan when we met the biggest cat I have ever seen in my entire life. His name is Mr. Large, he lives in a Wiccan store and he was rescued from kitty death row in the nick of time. He is also orange, which means he is magic (or magick, I should say, since he is most likely Wiccan).

Mr. Large weighs 30 pounds, which is more than Meep (13 pounds) and Mari (nine pounds) combined.

This cat is so fat that he waddles. He also has a dirty butt because he probably is too chubby to clean himself.

When I get home, I am going to print out a copy of Mr. Large's photo and stick it to the refrigerator at cat height. Next to it, I will attach the following note:

Dear Meeper Man:

This is what you will look like if you continue to act like a cat-shaped vaccuum cleaner who attempts to convince his family that feeding time is every hour and that chewing counts as exercise.

Please also note that your butt is dirty enough as it is, and we will be very unhappy if it gets any dirtier.

Your Humans

In other cat-related news ... we keep getting these e-mail updates from our pet-sitter bragging about the "super playtime" she is having and "new games" she is teaching our cats. And she says they are all becoming "best friends."

I can't even tell you how jealous I am.

1 comment:

-from charliewest, with love said...

oh. my. god.

that cat is enormous.

my peeshie came back tonight, but is clearly a non-English speaking cat because when I told him to "stay right there" he did no such thing. i ran inside to get tuna. next time i will just pet him when he presents himself; i didn't think he'd like me without a food gift, but he might. next time i'll try. or i'll just tell him not to move in Farsi. That could be it.

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