still working on it

The cleaning continues. And though it's not as physically taxing as this tank of Pinot was (I cleaned this thing out a few weeks ago -- it's my annual harvest tradition -- nothing like wearing a banana suit and entertaining the cellar guys with my lack of upper body strength), it's still rough.

I've accumulated an insane amount of magazines in my cubicle over the past three years. Because of my job, I have subscriptions to pretty much every food and wine publication out there. And while this is great and very helpful when it comes to pitching, the pile of magazines resembles a small mountain and is actually a health hazard because anyone who comes to my cubicle runs the risk of tripping over a Sunset or a Decanter or a Wine Business Monthly and sustaining a serious injury.

I've also collected a bazillion other random items. Need the Auction Napa Valley program from 2006? What about a gold medal from the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo wine competition? Or maybe a photo that Arthur Elgort took of the assistant tasting room manager's dog with model Anya Hindmarch?

I even have a boomerang with my name on it. And an origami set with instructions on how to fold paper into little Australian animals. And there are two unworn berets. And some fake grapes, both red and white. And a box full of branded spatulas. I have holiday cards from my favorite media contacts. A paper cutter. A regular stapler and an electric stapler. Seven boxes of paper clips, two boxes of plastic sheet protectors and one very large insulated wine bag.

I swear, I should have a garage sale.

cupcaking, cleaning

Spent yesterday with the apron on, baking up a batch of pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. They were absolutely delicious, even if I did cheat a little and used canned pumpkin. (Jeff once told me I could substitute with butternut squash and it would taste the same, but to be totally honest, even though I love butternut squash, it is a pain in the ass to slice open.) Anyway, the cupcakes were fantastic -- really moist and not overly sweet. And I topped them with candy corn, since Halloween is just around the corner.

I brought the cupcakes to work this morning. It's my last week at the old job, and I'm getting a little sentimental. If only I had the time to bake cupcakes for my coworkers every day this week just to show them how much I'll miss them! I swear, I almost cried at lunch today when Laura gave me a going-away present -- a bag full of chips and cookies (she knows!). And at Saturday's harvest party, I got huggy with the winemaker -- you know, the One Who Doesn't Hug. And I've been spending hours burning CDs of all the personal photos I've uploaded onto my work laptop over the past three years, and looking at all those pictures again makes me so nostalgic.

Oh, old apartment in San Francisco with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge! Oh, very first CDV holiday party, where Todd had the most amazing haircut he has ever had during the whole time I have known him! Oh, miss Mari as a tiny little kitten!

But just when I start to get carried away on a tidal wave of lovey-dovey emotion, I look at my cubicle. Seriously, I have been cleaning it since I put in my resignation about two weeks ago. And yet it is still a complete disaster area. Today while going through files, I found a total of three very disgusting dead bugs, and one of them was a spider that looked like it had an egg sac attached.

the break

A big part of why I have been so vague lately is because I was interviewing and didn't want the whole world to know. But since I spent yesterday and today telling people at work that I am leaving, I guess it's OK to blog about it now.

So: I am leaving to work for a much larger wine company that has 35 domestic brands, including an awesome, cool-climate Zin from Mendocino, a super high-end Napa Cab, the gorgeous property in the photo above, and yes, what may very well be the country's most popular Chardonnay. My last day is Halloween, and I start the new job immediately after. This is exciting -- a great next step for my career. I am happy.

And so sad!

I told our winemaker this morning, and halfway through what I was hoping would be a very brave speech, I started crying. And I couldn't stop. I sort of blubbered my way through why this is such a great opportunity that I can't pass up. And then I babbled something about how he is my favorite person at CDV and I'll miss him and hopefully we can still all hang out and go to dinner. And then -- yes, it gets even dorkier -- I announced that I hope the next PR person will make him famous because I really believe he should be famous and if he ever starts his own label, I want to do PR for it. And then he hugged me, which of course made me even more emotional because this is a man who never hugs. And then I went back to my little messy cubicle and sat there and cried some more.

I know I can't stay at CDV forever -- I don't want to, and I know it's not right for my career. But I learned so much there and I love so many of the people and I have such good memories.

I think I am going to need to carry a box of Kleenex around with me for the next few weeks.

play hard

What to say about this weekend ...

Friday night blended into Saturday morning because we were drinking Sauternes with lavender ice cream (one of the Absolute Best Pairings Ever) and suddenly it was almost 3 a.m.

Thirteen hours later, I found myself miraculously not fast asleep in a corner but instead having a blast at a winery event in the gorgeous Bennett Valley, where there were Jeep tours and Kobe beef steaks and media flying in on a helicopter. (Yes. Helicopter. How hot is that? Maybe I need to suggest this to my work.) And after that, there was beer, sake and sushi with Jonah, and we actually stayed out late enough that Todd was able to meet us after his shift.

And today: Atwater for Shara's bridal shower, where the showering involved chocolate martinis, engagement ring-shaped cookies (adorable!) and tons of food. (And of course, even though I had stuffed myself silly at the party, I still couldn't resist stopping for a big bag of Del Taco on the drive home.) Fueled by the Del Classic Chicken Burrito (yes, here we go with the chicken obsession again), I did some speedwork this evening and got my 5K time down to the fastest ever -- which really isn't that fast, but it still made me happy.

And now I am sitting in my pajamas, sipping some Emergen-C (you know, just in case) and watching old seasons of "Angel" on Netflix and waiting for Todd to come home.

And wondering why weekends have to be so damn short.

waiting

I really have to do something about this sleeping issue.

Or maybe I should call it a not-sleeping issue, since it involves staying up way too late in an attempt to wait for Todd to get home from his nightly punchdowns at his work.

I swear, the first time we've had dinner together in a very long time was last night, because he got the day off and the two of us were able to go to Pete and Sylvia's wedding dinner. (Congrats to them! They are fabulous!) We talked and talked and talked like we hadn't seen each other in ages. (Which is pretty much true.)

I miss him.