the off-season

Signs you are adrift in the off-season vortex and may possibly need an intervention (or at least 30 minutes on the trainer in Zone 2):

You can't remember what your Zone 2 range is.

You found your Garmin on the floor this morning because it has become a cat toy.

When your friend says she's planning to do a holiday 5K, you respond with "What is running?" And then you stuff your face with another piece of cheese.

Your bike still has its race numbers -- from a race that happened two months ago.

Eggnog (occasionally spiked with bourbon) has replaced sports drink.

You can't remember the last time you bought gels. And honestly, if you never have to eat gels again, you'll probably be OK with that.

Waking up at 7:30 a.m. is just way too early.

Weekend plans involve things like brunch instead of bike routes.

Your most recent "workout" was a surf lesson in Costa Rica two weeks ago.

You eat dinner at 7:30 p.m. instead of 5 p.m.

You took a break from your coach, and you don't know when you'll come back because you have no idea what races you'll be doing next season.

You tell people you feel weird about not having a coach, and by "weird," you mean "fat."

Your go-to wardrobe choice has gone from skinny jeans to dresses with tights. You explain this is because it is the "holidays," which also pretty much means "fat."

The amount of spandex in your laundry basket has dwindled drastically. (And been replaced by dresses and tights.)

You experiment with new activities like "hot Pilates." And find yourself wondering about CrossFit. And adult ballet. And improvisational theater. And fried chicken.

"Triathlon? Huh? What?"