total meltdown

This may sound weird, but the annual trip to Aspen for Food & Wine typically means it's time to get serious with my Vineman training. While I'm in Colorado, I pack in high-altitude workouts. And somehow manage to clean up my diet and cut out the gluten (odd venue for it, but I'm a girl who likes a challenge). And then I come home and start upping the mileage.

And at first, things seemed to be going as planned. I had a fantastic run in Boulder.

I made a new friend, saw some interesting art and felt like I could've kept running forever.

(Just curious: Is it normal to see pot plants randomly growing in public places? Because I swear I saw at least four of them while I was out there.)

Then there was the 5K from hell in Aspen. And I got an 1,800-yard swim in at the ARC (which never ceases to amaze me -- besides the mega-sized aquatics facility, complete with three-story water slide, this place has a climbing wall and an indoor ice rink).

(Swimming at altitude is just as tough as running at altitude, though!)

And then I came home, continued with the running and the swimming (yes, I realize my cycling is totally suffering), went on a quick work trip to San Francisco and then came back for the Seattle Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon on Saturday.

I should've known something was off when I woke up that morning with a sore throat, but I figured it was just allergies and ran the race anyway.

It was hilly. And hot. (Of course, the one day sun decides to show up in Seattle is the same day as the race. Go figure.) I got passed by a perky pregnant woman wearing a sign that said: "Running for 2 / In 5 days I'm due!" (Am I a bad person for wanting to punch her? Don't answer that.) And I finished in a not-so-rocking 2:16:58. I figured my poor performance was largely due to my lack of training.

Until I came down with a 101-degree fever the next day.

Thankfully, I'm no longer confined to my bed, suffering alternating bouts of sweating and chills while my nose runs like a faucet.

However, now I can't breathe. The stupid cold or whatever it is has lodged itself in my lungs, and I wake myself up at night because my wheezing is so loud. My coughs are juicy and disgusting and make people standing next to me uncomfortable. My lungs hurt when I walk uphill.

Pardon me while I freak out and lose my shit for a moment: Vineman is less than three weeks away and I cannot train because I cannot breathe.

Big, fat, superbold F.