adjustments

It's been one week. I've only gotten lost walking to my desk a few times. (The building is huge. All the cubicles are grey. My landmark is an heirloom tomato poster, which several other people also have posted at their desks, so this becomes very confusing.) I've already set up one radio interview. And I'm working on a TV segment. And there's also the launch of a new Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand. And some ambitious holiday promotions.

And a lot of PR speak, which is somewhat new to me. (Probably because it was just me doing all of the PR at my old job, so there was no one else to PR-speak to.) Now, there is "reaching out" to contacts and "wrapping your arms around" ideas and finishing projects "by COB" (which means close of business -- I actually had to Google it). I'm sort of worried all of this is going to rub off on me, and I'll end up talking like a PR robot instead of a human being.

But things are good. Brainstorming with other people is good. Liking those people a whole lot is good. Tasting through my new portfolio is good. Massive amounts of Halloween candy in baskets all over the office is good. Having an awesome gym right across the street with classes that kick my ass and make me feel less guilty about said candy is really, really good.

What's missing: A decent burrito. (I'm sorry -- this place just does not cut it! Guacamole shouldn't be that shade of green!) Cellar guys to shoot the shit with. An in-house shipping guru who knows how to navigate direct shipping laws and also enjoys talking about beer festivals in Mendocino. Peanut brittle and poodles in the tasting room. A winemaker who likes to discuss obscure Japanese literature and vegetarian Indian recipes. People who understand that wine and Kettle Chips do belong together forever.

Basically, all of my old friends.

I hate to admit it, but apparently, I don't adjust as well to change as I would like to think I do. I spent the last week trying really hard not to mope around. I absolutely don't regret my decision -- I honestly believe it was the right career move -- but man, I miss my old co-workers like crazy.

It's so bad that I actually started crying in spin class at the new gym last Thursday because all I could think about was how I used to take spin class with Laura on my lunch break, and now she's not there, and now no one is there, and there's not even a good burrito nearby, and then I felt so lonely and really far away from everyone and everything, and the tears just wouldn't stop.

I am telling myself that maybe this happened because sometimes exercise can release certain emotions, and not because I am just one big, gigantic baby.

(Um, still trying to convince myself of this.)