recent conversation

Me: So if these crackers are called Partners and you are my partner, does this mean I can call you --

The mister: No. Just no.

not your average bike race

You know when something is so awesome you want everyone you like to experience it too? (Meanwhile, the people you don't like can learn about it, only they find out too late, after the event has already sold out, so they stare wistfully at their computer screens while a loud "WOMP WOMP" plays in the background.) That's how I feel about the Urban Assault Ride -- a wacky bike event that's part "Amazing Race," part obstacle course and designed to get you outside, exploring urban trails and learning about the city you live in.

Seriously, it is so much fun.

The mister and I saddled up yesterday to compete as Team Tubby Sharks. (Backstory: He's had a fat stuffed shark named Shark Dog since college. And I had the same exact shark growing up, so clearly it's fate we're together. Only he's a better shark parent than I am, since I have no idea where my shark is now and I periodically text my mom and ask her to look for it, and then she ignores my texts. I have a strong suspicion she's donated my shark to Goodwill. I also have a strong suspicion I may get in trouble for telling the whole world about my boyfriend's stuffed animal.)

Shark Dog is locked and loaded.

The event started at Surly Brewing, and there were five regular checkpoints with challenges (everything from puzzles to obstacles to jumping in a pool with all your clothes on) and two "mystery stops." (You had to solve an anagram to find the first mystery stop, and once you got there, they gave you the clue for the second mystery stop, which was a photo of a tower -- you had to figure out what the tower was and where it was located, and then bike there.)

I was excited to unearth my commuter bike (whose name is Maude and who has been sadly neglected for years and years) and not wear spandex for once. Shark Dog was excited to make new friends.

Here we are at the first checkpoint!

And the mister was excited about our detour to the new Vikings stadium. 

Gorgeous, isn't it? Plus I ate a hot dog while we were there. Because why not preview the food too, right? (Don't worry -- I'm still a Niners fan.)

Then it was off to the first mystery stop at First Avenue ...

... followed by some skateboard bowling at another checkpoint ...

... and some slingshot action. (Note: They make you wear your helmet the whole time, even when you're not on the bike. Clearly, they know how clumsy I am.)

Isn't this a really attractive pose?

My favorite challenge was the paperboy route -- the mister rode in circles and threw newspapers at me, and I had to catch three of them in a plastic USPS box. Super fun and ridiculous.

The event finished back at Surly, with a big wheel ride.

And then everyone got two beer tickets. I gave mine to Shark Dog since I'm a glutard.

"Mmm. Surly Hell is delicious!"

And then we hung out, ate food truck fare and rode mini bikes.

This is way more difficult than it looks.

An awesome way to spend the morning!

return to my roots

Before I was mediocre at triathlon, I was mediocre at ballet.

And I loved it. I loved the discipline, the technique, the pianist playing in the corner, the French words, the counting to eight and then counting to eight again and again. And even though I knew I'd never have the right feet and I'd started too late to ever be on pointe, I still spent most of my free time every summer in ballet class.

And now, 18 years later, I've finally gone back. I took a beginning ballet class tonight at the Minnesota Dance Theatre & School.

It felt good to put these shoes on again. (I can't believe I actually still have them.) And the pianist played the "Star Wars" theme when we did grand battement at the barre. 

And look at how beautiful this studio is: 

I didn't care that I have pretty much zero flexibility now and that my saute is like maybe a centimeter off the ground (the teacher actually yelled "Jump higher!" at me) and that fondue really just makes me think of cheese. It simply felt wonderful to be there again.

#seenonmyride

Now that Vineman is over and there is no pressure to ride for a set number of hours at a target effort, I can get back on my road bike and tool around.

Which is exactly what I did today. Muppet and I took a leisurely cruise, exploring the bike trails around Minneapolis. We stopped for photos when we felt like it, ate and drank when we felt like it, made U-turns and backtracked and said "I wonder where this goes."

And yes, I absolutely refer to us as "we." Because Muppet and I are life partners.

Four young bucks, antlers still covered in velvet.

The country's first public-access natural swimming pool -- gorgeous!

I have no idea what this is, but it makes me think: "Mosquitos!"

finished vineman, hit a toilet

Today I injured myself on the toilet.

But not the way you think.

I was hanging a mirror on the wall behind the toilet (it's a mirror with little mustaches on it, and I like to hang it behind the toilet so when guys come over -- which really means when the mister comes over since the days of other guys at my house are long gone and not even my dad will visit me because my parents think Minnesota is cold all the time and are afraid of it -- and pee, it looks like they have a mustache on their man parts) and somehow rammed my left shin really hard against the toilet bowl. And now my shin hurts, and a bruise is forming.

But I can't wait for the mister to come back from his business trip to Asia so he can pee at my house.

Anyway, that's kind of what my life has been like lately: Muddling through, nesting, occasionally having misadventures. (Two weeks ago I puked at the ferry terminal in Seattle. But that's another story for another time. And it doesn't involve man parts, so it's not as interesting.)

I did, however, finish Vineman. It seems like awhile ago (especially since the full Ironman Vineman 140.6 happened today, and other bloggers who are better about being bloggers are probably blogging about the 140.6 on their blogs while I'm just now -- almost three weeks later -- getting around to casually mentioning the 70.3).

In a nutshell: I forgot my Garmin, so I did the entire race with no clue what my pace was. (At first, I freaked out a little. But after awhile, not having a watch was refreshing.) I ended up doing a few seconds better than my last Vineman in 2014 on the swim and the bike, and then totally blew up on the run, which was not surprising since I had a late wave start, got caught in the heat and had some stomach problems. And I also haven't been running as much or doing any track workouts this year, so I didn't really deserve a good run anyway.

Out of T2: The best I looked on the run (photo by Layla).

Swim: 47:43 (one day, I swear it, I'll hit 45:00)
T1: 4:03
Bike: 3:25:16 (I love this course more than any other course ever and it will always be joyous)
T2: 3:25
Run: 2:37:17 (I ended up in a port-a-potty for a very long time)
Overall: 6:57:44 (which I'm OK with -- I just wanted a sub-7)

I hate gun time vs. chip time on this thing.

Other random thoughts about Vineman: It's not the race I remember anymore. Ironman completely took it over, so instead of wine barrels at the finish and local sponsors at the expo, the finish line was typical Ironman-style and the sponsors were all national companies. We also had gear bags for the first time ever. And mandatory bike drop-off on Saturday. And there were 500 more athletes in the field, so the race was crowded -- I actually got boxed in on the bike and was worried about drafting penalties (which is something I've never worried about ever because I am usually slow and alone). And at packet pick-up, they routed you through the merchandise tent (which is so Ironman). And no more misting station at La Crema (which was sad, since it was really freaking hot out there).

Pre-race checklist: "Oh shit. My Garmin."

I missed the smaller race feel, and I'll admit I made a few grumpy "back in my day" comments. But that said, I thought T1 was better organized, the buoys on the swim were better and the swim finish was much easier to navigate. I also liked the new T2 setup -- less time awkwardly running with your bike into transition. Oh, and the medals this year were much cooler.

But as always, the very best thing ever about Vineman is how it feels like coming home. I love seeing my friends and riding through my old stomping grounds and feeling grateful for the way triathlon has taught me to be brave when I was going through some really rough times in my life (divorce! death! depression!). I will forever have a special place in my heart for this race.

Best body marking ever.

Vineman isn't Vineman without Layla.

Thank you to Jason, my buddy from IMAZ and sherpa for the day.

Much love also to Coeur Sports -- proud to be an ambassador and represent out there alongside my teammates!