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I'm racing again!

Remember how I made that joke about being in Triathlete magazine? So this happened:


It's a story about the YWCA Women's Triathlon, which took place this past Sunday. Everything about this race gives me glowy feelings. I love seeing the hard work of so many strong women pay off as they finish a tri for the very first time. I love how supportive all of the athletes are, how celebration is the focus, not competition. And I love how diverse the field is – women of all different body types, ages, ethnic backgrounds, and physical abilities.

Jen said it best: “YWCA is one of those races you want to keep doing every single year for the rest of your life.”

Which is why I’m so glad this was my comeback race. Yes, folks, the photo doesn't lie: I’m racing again. And I managed to do the entire run without walk breaks. And I didn’t re-sprain my ankle. Glowy feelings all around!

Here’s a quick recap:

Pre-race: I rode to the start with my neighbor Alyssa, who was also racing. We gushed about how much we love this race and laughed over how we weren't nervous at all since we felt like we hadn't actually trained and therefore had zero expectations. 

Air quality wasn't great this weekend, which made for an epic pre-race sunrise.

Swim: Water temperatures were warm, so no wetsuits allowed. The swim at this race is heavily supported -- waves are spaced out really well, and there are tons of kayaks and noodle swimmers so you feel safe at all times. I took this as an opportunity to try to swim like a legit triathlete vs. tooling around like I normally do. So I positioned myself toward the front of my wave, swam tight against the buoy line (this was the straightest I’ve ever swum in my life -- we all know I’m not the best at sighting and most of my open water swims look like a scenic tour of the lake), and had surprisingly very little contact with other swimmers. Overall, pretty ideal conditions! Yet despite this and the fact that I felt like I was pushing myself, I still had a super slow swim time of 11:40. (What can I say? I excel at bad swimming.)

T1: I made some stupid decisions, like sitting down to put my shoes on, even though I really didn’t need to. I also tried to get on my bike before the mount line and got a little tsk-tsk from the volunteers. Oops! Took me 2:27 to get through T1.


Bike: My goal was to go all out and get uncomfortable since this is the only sport I’ve been doing somewhat consistently since my injury. I wanted to see if I could average close to 20 mph. I did OK on the way out, but then after the turnaround, I felt like my rear wheel was dragging, so I slowed down and asked another racer if my tire was flat. Surprise – it wasn’t flat; I was just tired and that dragging feeling was my legs! (Seriously, I am so dumb sometimes.) So I lost speed for a stupid reason. My bike time was 49:47 – 18.7 mph average.

T2: Once again, I fumbled around. My dismount was slow – I had passed all these people on the bike, but they still crossed the timing mat before I did. And then I got into transition and had no idea where my rack was. Dear god: SO RUSTY -- 1:43 T2 time.

Run: I was aiming for a 10:00 minute/mile pace – I just started running again two weeks ago, and I hadn’t run farther than two miles, done as a run-walk. The plan was to run for five minutes, see how that felt, and then either keep running or take walk breaks as needed. I felt pretty good, so I ran the entire time and ended up with 29:20 – a 9:28 pace! Yes, it was nowhere nearly as fast as I’ve run 5K in the past, but who cares. I am running again, and that’s a win!

Also, I convinced the body marker to draw a cat on my leg. Winning AF.

My overall time was 1:34:54 -- 31st in my age group out of a field of 165. This was slower than last year (although I improved a smidge on the bike and with transitions). But like I said, today wasn’t about breakthrough performances – I was just thrilled to finish a race and not end up in an X-ray machine. (For the record, all that talk about Canadian healthcare being free is a lie. I recently paid the bill for my ER adventure, and I’ll be eating lentils and rice for the next two weeks.)

And finally: Shoutout to all the first-time triathletes I met swimming at Nokomis this summer, especially Liz, Rebecca, and LaTanya. The best part about the sport of triathlon is the community, and I absolutely love welcoming more people into the fold. I’m so damn proud of these ladies and their accomplishments, and I hope YWCA is just the first of many races we’ll do together!

trainer meow-tivation

Since it is International Cat Day, I’d like to show you what happens when I get on the trainer and Magnus decides he can’t live without me.

It's cute at first. He jumps up on the stool next to my bike and says hello.


But then he gets really excited and climbs onto my aerobars.


Imagine if I actually raced like this.

And then he gets mouthy.

For the record, he has terrible breath.

But aerobars are not enough.


He has to jump onto my shoulder ...


... and try to sit on my head.

And of course, he always does this when I'm supposed to be building in Z3 and Z4. Gah!


if you're having a bad week

... and need something to laugh at, I'm totally here for you.


Yes, my wetsuit penis bump, my floppy hand, and my I'm-about-to-pass-out face are all here for you.

Still not enough?

Well, then watch me fail to use the video function on my GoPro and take a series of awful still photos instead: 



I know, right? I should totally be on the cover of Triathlete magazine.

Oh and please don't show these to Ryan Gosling because he'll try to break down my door and Big Ginger won't be happy about that.

butt blasting

Right now my butt is so extremely sore from physical therapy. (And by butt, I mean glutes, not butthole. Because why on earth would a physical therapist work on your butthole? Although I will admit that once I did one of those colon hydrotherapy treatments that supposedly all the celebrities do before red carpet events because it makes them look skinny. I was curious. And also I had a Groupon. As I’m sure you can imagine, the experience was weird and involved sticking a hose up my butt and using a tennis ball to massage my stomach while water flowed in and poop flowed out. And then afterward the woman who administered the butt-cleansing made me look at all my poop and told me I needed to chew my food more. And I went home feeling like a big balloon of liquid and not at all like a celebrity.)

Anyway, apparently my ankle is related to my butt. Or rather, my gluteus medius, which is more like the hip-butt. (I’m like a total scientist with my awesome anatomical knowledge.) And when the hip-butt is weak, instability ensues. So I am doing clamshells with a band and fire hydrants (yes, these are just like a dog peeing) with a band.

And oh how it burns.

That feeling when.